Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The year is coming to a close

2008 is gonna end. Bye bye.
2008 a year it was. Was it not? Well it has not yet ended I agree… but a few more hours only left in it. Did it not have more incidents packed into this 1 year?
Well there was the global melt down. You know it started with the sub-prime crisis last year. Did you have the faint idea that it had set its after effects last 31st December? Well I did not.
Well last 31st I was promising a friend of mine that we would celebrate the next 31st some-where outside India. Likely place Thailand. My friend well in time launched a plan to land up there. But I feel guilty to say I was the first person to turn it down. I had my reasons. At that point I was strong not to succumb. Not that I didn’t want to lose out & book the tickets but with strong mettle I subdued my strongest desire & watch the whole plan to go to blazes. I had not been able to call him up ask forgiveness or to even ask what is his final plans for the new-years eve. The reason is totally different though. [:-P] I am confident that he has made his plans deleting all the irrelevant stuff & heading somewhere grandiose. I simply would not like to be jealous. BTW I am already jealous by thinking that he had something better to do. AND am also jealous of all those friends / acquaintances of mine & also those who have no relation with me & having a blast at NEW YEARS EVE. Have fun folks.
I would now take the opportunity to share with you the year it has been.
I would let my mind ramble. I would give you snippets of my minds thoughts as & when in random they come to prominence.
The first one is about my brother. My maternal cousin in his blog has added my blog link. He has for his own reasons (which I have been dying to know) has named me as Shuvojit [The future is scary!]. I have 2 maternal brothers & I like both of them extremely & I would go on record that I expect great things from both of them. I would in the forth coming year like to have the opportunity ask him why he really things that my blogs (if I am not) is scary. Because letting my hyper-active wild mind alive over the internet exposed is a scary thought for myself. It is scary what else of my dark soul has he seen?
My other thought still in continuation is a question to my other maternal brother. What trick has he up in his sleeve? Does he have the gut feeling that he needs to bring out a spectacular show in the next year to survive the image he has. The image he has created himself even if he apparently may claim that he had no intention of creating but just happened.
Sorry to have completely deviated from the regular methodology of talking about a year. History is always told chronologically. I remember from my academic years. We should try to bring in some chronology in this post.
Like I had started last 31st I was with a very close friend of mine promising ….. Yes last 31st night those who remember/know I was at my HOMETOWN. We parted ways right before the stroke of midnight. Well right after that I spoke to the person who at that point of time was at-least far above my friends but just below the 2 persons of my life who would hold the top spot. My MOTHER & MY SISTER. Well it is the truth. I would give my right hand for those two persons. For my friends I would give my head away. For that person I had already given away…
I got back home. Had a talk with Ma, before going to sleep in a bed which gives me more comfort than any other bed. In the first moments of the Year 2008 I felt I was with the most important people in my life & the most secure place.
Woke up next morning to catch a flight to Hyderabad. There was a stoppage in my flat in between the arrival at Howrah station & departure from Netaji Shubhas Airport. Sadly for the taxi taking the route through Rajar-haat I missed the flight. A fine start to the year that was to come!
Well had I known that this incident would underline the year that was to come I would have refused to believe. I was perhaps living in a fool’s paradise. Or I might be compared to the ostrich
Anyway I caught the next day early morning flight to come back to Hyderabad. I get the news that Dean is planning me as the SPOC for the team. Who is Dean? Well Dean Charette is a guy from Canada. He completed his academics in US & joined UBS in perhaps Quantitive Research. He moved into the European Power & Gas Research Desk in mid 2007 as the lead structurer & was the person who had recruited me for UBS to help him in his work. He had been the person who was not only managing me & the rest of the team in Hyd but also setting up work for us which would enhance our career along with knowledge. Dean was the perfect gentleman who I would like to thank. He had in the brief time that he was with us had set high standards for us & explained if not proven to us why & how we can achieve them. It was very unfortunate that the month of January was filled with turmoil & when I was placed as the SPOC I had on the very 1st day on my new role had spoken crap without having any idea of what has been going around. It was sheer good fortune or the fact that Dean was too busy with his own life that I was not sacked then & there. The European Power & Gas desk got scrapped soon after with Dean moving back to US. Dean also got engaged. Congratulations to him & may he have a great life ahead. Also thank you Dean, for heaping so much praise on me that I got promoted.
In the 1st quarter of the year I was extremely busy. Traveling to & fro Kolkata. 3 of my close friends got married. 2 to each other. The frequent travels took a heavy toll on my credit card which I had to finally payoff later, but then I was on a roll. I had the world with me. The second quarter blew in the changes which I had refused to look in till then. Well actually I tried to fight the changes & had to surrender at the end of the 3rd quarter. Not that I relished it.
In-between the whole world watched in awe the effects of exceptional high inflation with setting recession with effects of financial meltdown. My country on the other hand was going totally crazy. There was flood. There was anarchy. There were fanatics creating mayhem everywhere. Maharashtra, Kashmir, Orissa, Karnataka… the list is endless. I was numbed with the utter chaos I was seeing everywhere. I had my own personal demons to kill aggravated with all that I was observing around. Not being able to tell it anyone led me to finally start writing this blog.
The Olympics came & went away. India got a few medals. The gold medal winner got tons of money for accomplishing to shoot straight. Not that I deny him a ounce of accolades but it hit me hard when it was announced that the martyrs of the Operation Tornado are to be given only a pittance.
I have to give kudos to those strategists in Pakistan. By a series of blasts & finally by the attack in Mumbai they have been able to shift all the pressure from them. The Taliban’s are now friends of the Pakistan army & the hogwash war can end. The great uniting factor SEIGH by India is on tracks again. When has India ever attacked a foreign land? We have failed to protect our own land again & again over centuries now. The latest show of navel-power near the shores of Sudan was a dud.
Barrack Obama got elected the 44th President of America. The country that many hates. Maybe because they can & others can-not. Maybe because they are apparent show-offs & the rest of the world must pay for it. Or maybe because it is still the land of opportunity & someplace where you can still dream to make it big. Whatever the reason you can’t but help it. What is bit confusing to me is why is someone elected on November 4th have to wait till January 20 to actually start getting his act together. I hope he actually does something significant & is remembered as a great world leader & not just the 1st non-white President of USA. Although I have little hopes that he would be able to solve the India-Pakistan issue. But I really hope he does a better job at more critical issues. The climatic changes & destruction of the world needs to be properly & correctly answered. The growing food problem needs to be sorted out. The Energy Crisis which is looming just on the horizon needs to be tackled correctly.
Coming back to the more personal front I had plans to go & “chill” in my hometown during the “Puja’s”. But as luck would have it I got to know on the 3rd day of the trip that UBS has exited the Commodities Business & hence our team has been scrapped. My then manager asked me to complete my holidays. I did spend the out the holidays but you can guess what state I was in. I couldn’t let my Ma know what was up nor most of my friends. Anyways I got back & after over a month of pure agony I finally landed up with a role in a team in the same company. What role what actions? Let’s scrap that part. In this complete freeze in the job-market I have had to take whatever came my way.
My Didi came down to India after 4 years. Met her after 2 years. It was great.

Things I have learnt this year. Many. Primarily it is only on yourself you can depend on at any point. There is a saying in bangla. “Jibone eshchi eka jete hobe eka”. You have to go through everything on your own. If you are lucky you will have the money power to drag you out. Also it is only the closest of the family from whom you can expect help. Another learning which has been hammered into me is that it does not matter what you think or what you intend. It is only what the other person perceives.
I have changed a lot. I have become more cynical. I have become angrier than before. I have become ruder. I have lost the romanticism I used to have. I have totally un-learnt to be carefree. I have lost the eye to see happiness. I have become a cribber. I don’t like what I have become. Unlike before I have got short-sighted & not being able to look beyond “I”. But above all I have given up caring





Goodbye 2008. Hello 2009
Wishing everyone Happy New Year.

Monday, December 22, 2008

And Megha gets married

In a not so far city there was a finance off-shoring company. What is the name of the company? Would the name make any difference? The finance world is in a meltdown. Let us not go into the gritty details please. The company as in most out-sourcing companies in today’s world was filled with young men & women.
Imagine a fresh college pass-out, a twenty three year old lad. What is his name? What difference would it make? Let say his name is Wang. Didn’t like the name? Ok let his name be Abhi henceforth. Happy now? What now? You really want the name of the company. Ok then the company would be called ABC. Seriously dont know what would you do with that name. Planning to apply there? Ooh. Well most companies have a freeze on hiring.
Where was I? Oh yes I was introducing you to the lead female character Megha. Megha was another employee of ABC. Another twenty something fresh graduate who, unlike Abhi, had joined ABC just a couple of months back.

Abhi like millions of other males had not been able to get himself a girlfriend till then. What??!!!! Getting a GF is not difficult!!!! Man you must have been extremely lucky. Well for your information as per statistics there are only 913 females for every 1000 males (it is high time some thing is done about female infanticide). Hence 73 males must go single. And if you add those females who have not any contact with males other than immediate family or those who are not so eager to mingle freely with males & make a boyfriend you can realize the number wont be very small. But we are deviating from the main topic.

I know you must be wondering about Megha. Well not that she has not been with guys in college, but she never had a serious fling. Well she did nothing more than hang around with a very close circle of friends where males were nearly non-existent. Also she knew that her parents had a conservative view & would not accept her marrying someone outside their community. She took the safe way. Not getting involved with anyone & enjoy life as it is.
One fine morning Abhi & Megha found themselves in training together. They had seen each other a few times in the bay as well as the cafeteria. Ok there is a correction here. Abhi had noticed her in the 1st week she had joined. Megha was good looking & like all straight males Abhi was always on the lookout for good looking girls. Thank you Bird-watching is the word. Abhi had in couple of days figured out the best times to be in the cafeteria to watch the densest collection of “babes” (as he calls them).
Nothing special or significant happened during the training. Well Megha & Abhi got to know each others names. Megha realized that Abhi was a good speaker when he had something to say. Abhi realized that Megha had a really cute face with a good figure.
After the day long training got over Abhi & Megha both found themselves in the cafeteria. Neither of their regular colleagues was in the cafeteria at that moment. So they sat down together with a cup of coffee. The talk started with the training & as the cup emptied they realized that they had a lot in common. Both were new to the city. They did not have any friends at that place. Found it hard to spend spare time. Both were lonely. Etc etc etc…..
Over the next few days they would have their evening snacks together. They even plan to meet up outside office.

In the meantime Abhi’s childhood friends came to know about this. Like all guy friends they started advising him not to miss out on this chance. In a popular online site in their community they post stuff like “Megha is the one”, “Megha is clouding Abhi’s mind”. Why is it as soon as a male & a female start coming close people around would like them to take it beyond friendship or end it? Why can’t friends or families or acquaintances not just let them be?
Megha had a friend from college. Who was as workless as any other guy sitting on the “bench”. He one fine morning started googling with the names of his friends. Especially the females he had come across. When he typed the name “Megha” he came across the posts that Abhi’s friends had posted. He instantly called up Megha & asked “What is going on? You have a BF now & don’t let friends know” Megha was shocked. She checked out the posts herself. She was obviously unhappy/disappointed with the whole turn of events. She was hurt that Abhi has discussed her with his friends & his friends had made such posts. She immediately calls up Abhi & tells him to delete all the posts. Abhi asks his friends to delete them.

Next day they come face to face in the cafeteria. Abhi has Hi but Megha doesn’t respond. Megha just takes her coffee & sits in a table which is way off where she usually sits. Abhi is egoistic enough not to try & go talk with her. He also starts ignoring her. Few days pass & life moves on. Abhi makes new friends & Megha starts taking guitar lessons.
Few more months pass by & Abhi all of a sudden comes face to face to Megha. Megha is all dressed up. She has “mehendi” on her hands with lots of bangles. She has got married. Abhi says “Hi”. Megha smiles back & says “Hi” too. Abhi’s next statement is a question actually. “You got married?” Megha just gives a grin. Abhi then asks “Where are the sweets yaar?” Megha responds “Come to my desk”.


This post was inspired from the incidents which took place & I happen to know. I was wondering why a relation between a male & a female so complicated. Why is it that any friendship can’t begin & end as just a friendship? What really does a guy want from a female acquaintance & vice-versa? What does he/she want when the other person becomes a friend? What expectations are justified & what are fantasies?
I would also like to apologize on behalf of those friends. Friends who are far apart & can keep in touch only through some calls & through online desperately want to go back to those days when they had boundless fun together? Any reason to have harmless banter among them is not to be missed. It is a separate point that some banter among friends turn to harm someone else. But it is not intentional.
Finally I would like to congratulate Megha. May you have a fantastic married life & all the happiness.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

The Good Doctor

Today evening I went to a play. The name of the play was The Good Doctor. It was presented by Dramanon. Dramanon is a drama-troup which originated with young people from Manipal. The 2 act play containg 3 sets each, was set in Russia during the 19th century, written in Chekhovian style.
The independent acts were connected by an writer enacted by the director R K Shenoy. A multi-talented guy R K Shenoy had made a fan in the 1st 5 mins when he was introducing the audience to the concept of the play.
The 1st set was about a junior clerk who sneezes on the Minister during a play. How he makes a fool of himself trying to ask for forgiveness by being obsessed in making an apology was hilariously presented. And being true to Russian plays also in a set of dialogues displayed the socialism/communism divide.
The 2nd set was how an over-zealous father wanted to educate his 19 year old son to be a man. Actually he wanted his son to learn the intricacies of love making from a prostitute. The father literally forces the kid to almost go after he has bargained with the prostitute for a fair price. & then as a twist when he calls him back stating we can educate you next year & have an umbrella as a gift this year. The turning point was when the kid says “father I would go now your small son & come back a man”. Parents sometimes really would not like their kids to grow up. Or as many have said to a parent the child is always a child.
The final set of the act was about a Casanova. The Casanova shows us his tricks in hooking wives of people he knows. No I wont be sharing his technique. No I wont be trying to emulate them either. The ending was lovely. The wife is totally smitten in love with him & comes to meet him. But at the last moment reveals that she is intelligent enough to realize her status. She says she would not oppose any of his actions but she also points out that she is in a happy MEDIOCRE love life & would regret all her life to have made a has of the total love her husband has for her. She requests the Casanova to do the right thing. And if he leaves her she would be eternally grateful. The Casanova has a momentary urge to complete what he has started but finally succumbs to his self-righteousness & leaves. Ratika the female protagonist had awesome expressions.
The 2nd act started with a banker who is harassed by a lady. The lady demands that the bank pay some dues of her husband who is mentally ill. The bank is no way connected to the man but the lady by creating mayhem achieves what she had set out for. This set had the audience nearly rolling in laughter due to Madhu who was playing the very loud lady
The next set was completely different from what was being shown before. The mood suddenly became serious. The story was about a gent who was pushed into paying for an entertainment. The entertainment was in the form of a person who cant swim enacting a drowning man. The fact that pain is not welcome, as long as it is not inflicted on us, was well depicted. We don’t mind in getting enjoyment or more specifically get interested in watching people in pain. Does Reality Shows & TRPS ring a bell?
The final set of the evening was actually a question. An old widower meets an elderly widow in the park. They are lonely & welcome the company. They ask would it be wrong if they seek solace or company or whatever they miss out from life then. This is mainly expressed by a song sung by R K Shenoy & Sarah. Finally the male protagonist asks her out for a cup of tea on a chilly autumn evening. She says tomorrow.
I had a lovely evening. I must thank my apartment-mate in dragging me out tonight.

In the return trip we took an auto. The auto driver played two songs for us.
The 1st was
Jeeyen to jeeyen kaise bin aapke
Jeeyen to jeeyen kaise bin aapke
Lagta nahin dil kahin bin aapke
Jeeyen to jeeyen kaise bin aapke
Jeeyen to jeeyen kaise bin aapke

Kaise kahoon bina tere zindagi ye kya hogi
Kaise kahoon bina tere zindagi ye kya hogi
Jaise koi saza koi badd-dua hogi
Jaise koi saza koi badd-dua hogi
Maine kiya hai ye faisla
Jeena nahin hai tere bina
Jeeyen to jeeyen kaise bin aapke
Jeeyen to jeeyen kaise bin aapke
Lagta nahin dil kahin bin aapke
Jeeyen to jeeyen kaise bin aapke
Jeeyen to jeeyen kaise bin aapke


The second was
Why did you break my heart?
Why did we fall in love?
Why did you go away, away, away, away?
(Dil mera churaaya kyoon
Jab yeh dil todna hi tha
Humse dil lagaaya kyoon
Humse munh modna hi tha) - 2
Why did you break my heart?
Why did we fall in love?
Why did you go away, away, away, away?

Ho, dil ko dhadakna tune sikhaaya
Dil ko tadapna tune sikhaaya
Aankhon mein aansu chhupe the kahin
Inko chhalakna tune sikhaaya
Seene mein basaaya kyoon
Dil se jab khelna hi tha
Humse dil lagaaya kyoon
Humse munh modna hi tha
Dil mera churaaya kyoon
Why did you break my heart?
Why did we fall in love?
Why did you go away, away, away, away?

Ho, milti thi nazrein jab bhi nazar se
Uthte the shole jaise jigar se
Saanson se nikla jaise dhuaan sa
Banta tha mujhse jeete na marte
Aag kyoon lagaayi jab
Bujhaaye dil chhodna hi tha
Humse dil lagaaya kyoon
Humse munh modna hi tha
Dil mera churaaya kyoon
Jab yeh dil todna hi tha
Humse dil lagaaya kyoon
Humse munh modna hi tha
Why did you break my heart?
Why did we fall in love?
Why did you go away, away, away, away?


The record had been played at-least a million times & the sound quality was truthfully pathetic. Yet I enjoyed those 2 songs. IRONIC? I guess few would understand. Also I don’t have a very definite choice in music or entertainment. I would listen to anything as long as it appeals to me. I was concentrating in the lyrics (for a change) & the tune than what was being played at that moment.

Should I ramble now? [:-)]
No I would not. I let you folks to come up with questions & I would be more than happy to answer them.