Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The year is coming to a close

2008 is gonna end. Bye bye.
2008 a year it was. Was it not? Well it has not yet ended I agree… but a few more hours only left in it. Did it not have more incidents packed into this 1 year?
Well there was the global melt down. You know it started with the sub-prime crisis last year. Did you have the faint idea that it had set its after effects last 31st December? Well I did not.
Well last 31st I was promising a friend of mine that we would celebrate the next 31st some-where outside India. Likely place Thailand. My friend well in time launched a plan to land up there. But I feel guilty to say I was the first person to turn it down. I had my reasons. At that point I was strong not to succumb. Not that I didn’t want to lose out & book the tickets but with strong mettle I subdued my strongest desire & watch the whole plan to go to blazes. I had not been able to call him up ask forgiveness or to even ask what is his final plans for the new-years eve. The reason is totally different though. [:-P] I am confident that he has made his plans deleting all the irrelevant stuff & heading somewhere grandiose. I simply would not like to be jealous. BTW I am already jealous by thinking that he had something better to do. AND am also jealous of all those friends / acquaintances of mine & also those who have no relation with me & having a blast at NEW YEARS EVE. Have fun folks.
I would now take the opportunity to share with you the year it has been.
I would let my mind ramble. I would give you snippets of my minds thoughts as & when in random they come to prominence.
The first one is about my brother. My maternal cousin in his blog has added my blog link. He has for his own reasons (which I have been dying to know) has named me as Shuvojit [The future is scary!]. I have 2 maternal brothers & I like both of them extremely & I would go on record that I expect great things from both of them. I would in the forth coming year like to have the opportunity ask him why he really things that my blogs (if I am not) is scary. Because letting my hyper-active wild mind alive over the internet exposed is a scary thought for myself. It is scary what else of my dark soul has he seen?
My other thought still in continuation is a question to my other maternal brother. What trick has he up in his sleeve? Does he have the gut feeling that he needs to bring out a spectacular show in the next year to survive the image he has. The image he has created himself even if he apparently may claim that he had no intention of creating but just happened.
Sorry to have completely deviated from the regular methodology of talking about a year. History is always told chronologically. I remember from my academic years. We should try to bring in some chronology in this post.
Like I had started last 31st I was with a very close friend of mine promising ….. Yes last 31st night those who remember/know I was at my HOMETOWN. We parted ways right before the stroke of midnight. Well right after that I spoke to the person who at that point of time was at-least far above my friends but just below the 2 persons of my life who would hold the top spot. My MOTHER & MY SISTER. Well it is the truth. I would give my right hand for those two persons. For my friends I would give my head away. For that person I had already given away…
I got back home. Had a talk with Ma, before going to sleep in a bed which gives me more comfort than any other bed. In the first moments of the Year 2008 I felt I was with the most important people in my life & the most secure place.
Woke up next morning to catch a flight to Hyderabad. There was a stoppage in my flat in between the arrival at Howrah station & departure from Netaji Shubhas Airport. Sadly for the taxi taking the route through Rajar-haat I missed the flight. A fine start to the year that was to come!
Well had I known that this incident would underline the year that was to come I would have refused to believe. I was perhaps living in a fool’s paradise. Or I might be compared to the ostrich
Anyway I caught the next day early morning flight to come back to Hyderabad. I get the news that Dean is planning me as the SPOC for the team. Who is Dean? Well Dean Charette is a guy from Canada. He completed his academics in US & joined UBS in perhaps Quantitive Research. He moved into the European Power & Gas Research Desk in mid 2007 as the lead structurer & was the person who had recruited me for UBS to help him in his work. He had been the person who was not only managing me & the rest of the team in Hyd but also setting up work for us which would enhance our career along with knowledge. Dean was the perfect gentleman who I would like to thank. He had in the brief time that he was with us had set high standards for us & explained if not proven to us why & how we can achieve them. It was very unfortunate that the month of January was filled with turmoil & when I was placed as the SPOC I had on the very 1st day on my new role had spoken crap without having any idea of what has been going around. It was sheer good fortune or the fact that Dean was too busy with his own life that I was not sacked then & there. The European Power & Gas desk got scrapped soon after with Dean moving back to US. Dean also got engaged. Congratulations to him & may he have a great life ahead. Also thank you Dean, for heaping so much praise on me that I got promoted.
In the 1st quarter of the year I was extremely busy. Traveling to & fro Kolkata. 3 of my close friends got married. 2 to each other. The frequent travels took a heavy toll on my credit card which I had to finally payoff later, but then I was on a roll. I had the world with me. The second quarter blew in the changes which I had refused to look in till then. Well actually I tried to fight the changes & had to surrender at the end of the 3rd quarter. Not that I relished it.
In-between the whole world watched in awe the effects of exceptional high inflation with setting recession with effects of financial meltdown. My country on the other hand was going totally crazy. There was flood. There was anarchy. There were fanatics creating mayhem everywhere. Maharashtra, Kashmir, Orissa, Karnataka… the list is endless. I was numbed with the utter chaos I was seeing everywhere. I had my own personal demons to kill aggravated with all that I was observing around. Not being able to tell it anyone led me to finally start writing this blog.
The Olympics came & went away. India got a few medals. The gold medal winner got tons of money for accomplishing to shoot straight. Not that I deny him a ounce of accolades but it hit me hard when it was announced that the martyrs of the Operation Tornado are to be given only a pittance.
I have to give kudos to those strategists in Pakistan. By a series of blasts & finally by the attack in Mumbai they have been able to shift all the pressure from them. The Taliban’s are now friends of the Pakistan army & the hogwash war can end. The great uniting factor SEIGH by India is on tracks again. When has India ever attacked a foreign land? We have failed to protect our own land again & again over centuries now. The latest show of navel-power near the shores of Sudan was a dud.
Barrack Obama got elected the 44th President of America. The country that many hates. Maybe because they can & others can-not. Maybe because they are apparent show-offs & the rest of the world must pay for it. Or maybe because it is still the land of opportunity & someplace where you can still dream to make it big. Whatever the reason you can’t but help it. What is bit confusing to me is why is someone elected on November 4th have to wait till January 20 to actually start getting his act together. I hope he actually does something significant & is remembered as a great world leader & not just the 1st non-white President of USA. Although I have little hopes that he would be able to solve the India-Pakistan issue. But I really hope he does a better job at more critical issues. The climatic changes & destruction of the world needs to be properly & correctly answered. The growing food problem needs to be sorted out. The Energy Crisis which is looming just on the horizon needs to be tackled correctly.
Coming back to the more personal front I had plans to go & “chill” in my hometown during the “Puja’s”. But as luck would have it I got to know on the 3rd day of the trip that UBS has exited the Commodities Business & hence our team has been scrapped. My then manager asked me to complete my holidays. I did spend the out the holidays but you can guess what state I was in. I couldn’t let my Ma know what was up nor most of my friends. Anyways I got back & after over a month of pure agony I finally landed up with a role in a team in the same company. What role what actions? Let’s scrap that part. In this complete freeze in the job-market I have had to take whatever came my way.
My Didi came down to India after 4 years. Met her after 2 years. It was great.

Things I have learnt this year. Many. Primarily it is only on yourself you can depend on at any point. There is a saying in bangla. “Jibone eshchi eka jete hobe eka”. You have to go through everything on your own. If you are lucky you will have the money power to drag you out. Also it is only the closest of the family from whom you can expect help. Another learning which has been hammered into me is that it does not matter what you think or what you intend. It is only what the other person perceives.
I have changed a lot. I have become more cynical. I have become angrier than before. I have become ruder. I have lost the romanticism I used to have. I have totally un-learnt to be carefree. I have lost the eye to see happiness. I have become a cribber. I don’t like what I have become. Unlike before I have got short-sighted & not being able to look beyond “I”. But above all I have given up caring





Goodbye 2008. Hello 2009
Wishing everyone Happy New Year.

2 comments:

Som's Studio said...

Happy New Year 2009.
I hope that this year brings peace, joy, health and prosperity to all of us.
Heres to World Peace, stabilizing economies, better health insurance etc.
Cheers!

Sir Tokes A Lot said...

"navEL-power"! That made for some very interesting and objectionable google searches.

And it's all water under the bridge. We never mope much about the past. We don't lie awake at night wishing to be playing for ManU. It's the good things that always stand out. Moreover, it's about the present.
Enough Gyan. You have been through much more than I have. I am sure you will bounce back. You have sort of already.
And the ace I have been hiding up my sleeves? It's the entire royal flush I tell you. Though I won't like to measure my life by the exams I crack, it's my feline fetishes for now. I need some money to put my sinister plan into action.
And in the end, 2010 at Koh Phangan!!! Whhoooo!