Thursday, January 15, 2009

Hurdles on the Road

Have you pondered on the in-numerable hurdles that one comes across on the road?
Nah am not talking of the Road of Life. Life is too complex & filled with hurdles to even dare to ponder (onit). I am talking on the regular roads, the paved paths, which take you from point A to point B.
What is there to ponder on?
Take the example when you are riding with a pillion rider. Heaven help you if that person can also rides on his own. He would be pouring on advice which he believes you won’t be thinking off. Or he might firmly believe that you are totally deaf & blind & are riding purely on luck.
Even if you don’t have someone polluting your ears, there is the traffic on the road. Every driver believes that given the opportunity they would beat Michael Schumacher or Valentino Rossi by at-least a lap. On top of that they also believe that they own the road. Hence if you are in the driving seat you would have to constantly guess what the other drivers are going to do.
On top of all this you would have to take into considerations the incoming vehicles & people at any moment (with-out warning obviously) from any side of the road.
I was given a piece of advice (from a friend of mine) regarding folks crossing the road.
If it is a young kid or an oldie then hit your horn hard & accelerate. The person would get frightened & stop & you can safely pass them from the front.
If it is a teenager or a young man, don’t bother to hit the horn just slow down. They would be over-confident & aggressive enough to continue on their path & you can safely pass them from the behind.
But if it is a young female then brake & begin to pray. She is too unpredictable for you to be safe. And heaven forbid if you even come close to hitting her. All the people around would become her brother & bash you up. Yeah I know the last part is bit cheap but the advice was so…

If you were not completely wrecked thinking so many stuff after trying to figure out which route to take then there are some more hurdles.
The traffic police for one. The main job of the traffic police is to ensure smooth movement of the vehicles. But most traffic personnel I have come across are more interested in some other actions. Pocketing money. So while riding/driving you would have to keep an eye for the traffic police & if you spot one immediately check off all the reasons he can apprehend you & take proper evasive action.
I would not go into the potholes & the sudden horizontal dug-ups (for laying some object like wires). Riding around pot-holes is something you must learn fast if you want to increase the life-time of the shock-absorber & not have a cross-country ride right in the middle of the city.
There are also some unexpected objects which might jump up in your path.
A public bus which had a break-down is standing right in the middle of the road. And some stones & a branch are jutting out. & it is just twilight.
Puts a shiver down your spine, while the heart jumps, as you evade it.
Or an auto riding through the middle of the road. Some of my friends know how badly I had reacted.
But the best one ever was a _________. Thankfully I was not at the driver’s seat. But I must say that this one extends the imagination a bit but it was actually true. Imagine a dark night. Cloudy no moon night. The roads are empty & the street-lights are off. All of a sudden you see 2 red-lights light up. & you are approaching it very fast. You brake & shift on the left side of the road. As you pass the suddenly braked car throwing as many explicit you can remember. You are shocked to find a white horse standing in your path. Blinded from the headlights it stands in the middle of the road. Poor creature. And Maneka Gandhi is the last thought before your mind before it crashes out.

3 comments:

Som's said...

Hahaha...nice one.

A friend of mine once commented on his harrowing experience in a taxi on the new Vivekananda Setu. The taxi drove in the middle of the road. The poor guy (just back from US) asked why? The driver answered "Dekhun dada...koto bhalo...garir du dikh diyei gari overtake korte parche"!!

Anyways, the triffic in India reminds me of an Anthill...millions of ants...looking chaotic, still manages to go to its destination?! I for one, start praying.

The only difference was a recent trip to Greater Noida with Amit. It was a sublime 20km from Noida on a brand new road. And not a car in sight!!

Anyways, back to reality: this is a video I watched a long time back. enjoy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8Doy_7sOoM

Souro said...

Nice post bro !! it was fun reading it ! But you could have mentioned the "kicking" incident with a bit more details :)

Keizer Doe Corleone said...

Great link Didi.

Few things you forgot:
1. The cows! Though I have seen foreigners looking at them with awe as if they are in Jim Corbett.
2. The rickshaws(manual ones). Or even worse the pedal less ones of Kolkata. Ain't that just inferior design.
3. The newly emergent biker gangs. Go Dhoom.
But nothing beats a horse. Except maybe an elephant shitting it's way through the city.
Once I saw three young girls hit a poor little boy with a scooty. The child got beaten up by her bhaiyyas (read: wannabe saiyyas)