Friday, March 26, 2010

The Married Man

I have come to an age where every person i meet asks me "when are you getting married".

Marriage are made fun of by most bachelors. I would like to add a fair number of spinsters i came across were there cracking jokes as well...
But now i am at a stage where people all around me feel i should get married.

Reasons for why i should get married are pretty interesting.

One reason is i would get a companion.
Another strange one from a senior colleague : "bache jab bigar jaate hain tab unki shaadi kara dea jaate hain" ..... errr... emmm... aaaa....eeee...ooookkkk okkk okk ok. main bigra-what-ever
An caring one; "dinner pakaya hua mile ga"
1 factual: after a couple of years or more you would require some1 within your hands reach, whom you can wake up & say call the ambulance




The place i work has a mix of married & unmarried people. The group i go for lunch with are mostly married or are about to get married.
A remark from there: movie jane ki partner mill jayega..
Another one: Restaurant er naam guloi bole jabi... khete ja kauke nea ebaar... onek to holo


There are some who give ambiguous answers. Interesting change aayege. What change???!!!?!?


Some has pacified me. I am supposed to wake up 1 fine morning & say i am getting married.

Some has point-blank told me that i have grown old enough.

Some has warned me saying if you are not financially confident that you can take care of another person then don't


There are some who warn me: bahut badal na parega


I have been unfortunate enough to be at an age where your mother firmly believes that you should get married. All your aunts support her vehemently & uncles slightly grudgingly.
I also realized this is also the time when a significant number of your friends are married. Some are living with a female partner. Did you guys read the news where Supreme Court quashed the 20 some case against Khusboo the South Indian actress. I am sorry to call all of Andhra, Tamil, Karnataka & Kerala as South Indian. I had to become immune to being called Northies.

Coming back to the topic. these friends of mine has allowed me a very close glimpse of the married life.

The first remarkable thing i noticed was that all females are extremely finicky about cleanliness. The males not used to these high standards face remarkable discomfort at the best. Typically a bachelor would wear his jeans for a month (give or take 30 days). As soon as he gets hit by a female entity he suddenly gets cleaner. His pad gets a total makeover. His expenses also get a change of direction.
I must add that the maximum that a guy can be clean i can show u atleast 100 females who can consider it the bare minimum.
There is a strange complication in this. A married colleague of mine has a set of n number of favourite bed shirts. 1 fine day he realized a few of them were in the washing machine. He had to take out one more from the cupboard & had gone down to get a pack of milk on a lazy holiday morning. When he came back he was forced to go for a bath & came out to realize that this t-shirt has also been put for washing. In the night he realized the last shirt was also in the dump for further washing. Amusing is it? Rings a bell? Well for him it was painful for him to convince his wife for another 15 mins of why he cant wear the slightly wet t-shirt. I have no clue how i would react.

Interestingly, as soon as these male friends escape from the over-see of their other half, they indulge in their old bachelor days. Same routine. Cleanliness blowing in the wind. The reason is more to be hyper than be so dirty.





an saddening remark: because that is what u r supposed to do


If you are coming at terms to the cleanliness portion then let me remind you that they add a new dimension. Neatness. How does it matter if the cloths are hanging on the cloths line for more than a day. Why must the wet towel immediately put out to dry. Why cant a shirt be left to lie on the bed for some time? Strange questions!!!??

Then again a philosophical take: a person who finds answers to those would get bliss
(WAhhhaaa.... as though every day 1 lucky guy gets nirvana.)

and then there is a dark side

You might have to answer for a straight few days if she is looking fat or not. Then all of a sudden face her wrath coz she cant fit into her some xyz dress.

You find her angry at you for a reason which you cant fathom & bear out all the after-effects of a storm. 1 bachelor friend of mine had got so frightened that he had locked himself in a room till the firing was over.

You will realize that you are the chauffeur cum porter com financier com escort cum security cum.....
Your dressing your activity schedule your free "me" time are changed. Is all change good or Change is just the only thing constant





there are other strange mood swings that the females would have. It takes a lot of caring, understanding, handling, cocooning, controlling, frustrations...... Then you realize you have to match up with strange comparisons with all the important males in their life.

And then there are the in-laws. There are so strange problems that people have with their in-laws. Even relatives create ruckus.

and there is the matter of fact types: Thats what everyone ends up doing






Dont get hyper. It may seem that i am extremely anti-females. That is far from the truth. It just some differences which makes me pluck out whatever few strands of hair left on my head.
Take for example beautification. A room if is of a bachelor then it will have plain walls or wild posters. Table lamp is perhaps the only lamp. But a female would make the room WOW just by adding
A guy would fail while a girl will convert a house to a home.


The irritating types: Dimag kyun kha ta hain. Karle le re baba karle

The poking one: Have anything better to do

4 comments:

PRIYA said...

After reading your thoughts, One honest suggestion: YOU BETTER GO TO A JUNGLE AND STAY THERE.

Som's Studio said...

Hilarious post!

Souro said...

ha ha ha !!! am scared !!! :P

Anonymous said...

Well written, but cannot agree with you at all

Manjusha